Let’s be honest — when was the last time you really won an argument by using nothing but pure, clean logic? 😅 Yeah, exactly.

The truth is, there are five different ways to win an argument, and logic is actually the hardest one of them all. Most guides and self-help YouTubers focus on the bottom two — using logic or slightly manipulative tricks — but today, I’m giving you the full tier list, starting from the easiest to the most effort-heavy.

🥇 Method #1: Avoid the Argument Altogether

“Never argue with stupid people. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.”
— Mark Twain

Sometimes, the smartest move is to just walk away.

Even if you’re right. Even if you know you’re right. Because trying to prove something to someone who refuses to listen is like yelling into a void. 🎯

But wait — there’s a catch.

When you’re in the moment, you don’t always know who the “stupid” one is. Both parties think they’re right. One says “1 + 1 = 2,” the other says “Actually, it’s 1.” Who’s brainwashed? Who’s misinformed? Who’s living in a simulation?

🤷‍♂️ If all you do is avoid arguments, you might end up living in a bubble, never challenging your views. So yeah, walk away when it’s not worth it — but don’t turn your back on every disagreement. Some of them might just change your life.

🥈 Method #2: Win by Losing (Wait, What?)

Sometimes, it’s not about being right.
Sometimes, it’s about getting what you actually want.

Let’s say you ate 16 cookies from a shared jar (okay, maybe 17, but who’s counting? 🍪), and your roommate is mad. The logical thing would be to argue that it was only 16. But what’s your goal? To defend your cookie honor?

Or… maybe your actual goal is to keep your roommate happy so they keep leaving cookies out 😏.

So just say:

“Wow, I took 17? That’s terrible. I’m sorry — they were just so good. I’ll make it up to you.”

Boom. Argument defused. Relationship salvaged. Cookies possibly secured for the future. This, my friend, is winning by losing.

🥉 Method #3: Diffuse the Argument (Like a Bomb Squad 💣)

Want to win like Socrates? Then don’t go in like a gladiator. Go in like a student.

Instead of yelling “YOU’RE WRONG,” try this:

  1. Ask them why they think the way they do.
  2. Look for tiny points of agreement.
  3. Slowly build toward common ground.

This is known as the Socratic Method — and it works if you use it with curiosity and respect.

⚠️ But beware of “Socratic Questioning” gone rogue — where you just ask 78 questions in a row until the other person rage-quits. That’s not productive. That’s just annoying.

🪤 Method #4: Use Dirty Tricks (AKA Logical Fallacies)

If you’re feeling evil (or just desperate 😈), you can resort to unethical tactics. These include:

  • Strawman arguments 🪵
  • Ad hominem attacks 🙄
  • Distracting tangents 🔄
  • Overconfident nonsense 😤
  • And everyone’s favorite: “So basically you’re saying…”

There’s an entire sarcastic essay by Schopenhauer that teaches 25 ways to “win” a debate by being shady. Here are just a few highlights:

  • #1: Exaggerate your opponent’s argument.
  • #5: Make them angry to throw them off.
  • #14: Use one counterexample and pretend it disproves everything.
  • #25: Find one small mistake and say their whole point is wrong.

Yes, it works. No, it won’t win you any friends. 🤐

🧪 Method #5: Actually Use Logic (Gasp!)

This one’s the hardest. Because real arguments — the ones worth winning — require:

  • A clear claim 🧩
  • Good evidence 📚
  • And strong reasoning that connects the two 🔗

That’s why most of us avoid it — because it takes work. But when done right, it’s the only method that truly changes minds for the better.

Unfortunately, it’s also kind of boring and doesn’t fit in a TikTok. 😅

🧭 Final Thoughts

Most argument advice focuses on what sounds smart, not what actually works. But now you’ve got the full roadmap:

Rank Method Difficulty Morality
🥇 Avoiding ⭐ 👍
🥈 Losing to win ⭐⭐ 👍
🥉 Diffusing ⭐⭐ ✅
🪤 Dirty tricks ⭐ 🚩
🧠 Pure logic ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ ✅✅✅

Choose wisely. Sometimes it’s not about being right — it’s about knowing what matters most in the moment.

🧘‍♂️ Peace, cookies, and civil discourse to all.

P.S. If you’re still arguing about who took more cookies… maybe it’s time to get your own jar. 🍪